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How to Write Your Wedding Vows

Jan 24

4 min read

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Weddings can be one of the most beautiful experiences, but that beauty often comes with stress, especially when it comes to writing wedding vows. How can you possibly fit how much you love your partner on a piece of paper? This is no easy task, but there are ways to do it (we promise).


So, How Do You Start This Process?

It involves a lot of brainstorming, but don’t think too much about it. Grab a piece of paper and just start answering these questions:

  • What moment did you realize you were truly in love with your partner?

  • What’s a moment that made you feel incredibly supported or understood?

  • What’s a memory that makes you laugh every time you think about it?


This can help you get an idea of where to start or which parts you would like to include. For example, “I can find love in so many different moments, but I think what did it for me was that you knew more Katty Perry songs than I did. But in all seriousness…”


Another way you can do this is: “I’ll never forget the time we tried to bake a cake together, and it ended up as more of a disaster than a dessert. We laughed so hard that we nearly forgot about the frosting. And that basically sums up what life is like with you.”


Reflect on Your Personal Growth

While a big part of wedding vows is about the future, the past or present can be a great addition to your speech. 

Here are a few questions to get something sparked:

  • How has your partner made you a better person?

  • What have you learned from them that you never expected?

  • What strengths have they helped you discover?

This can turn into something like this: “You have completely changed my world. I am less anxious in your presence, have more patience in difficult situations, and take things on even when I am scared.”


Make It Visual

Focus on what lies ahead by describing your future. What will your life together look like in 5, 10, or even 50 years?

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why do you want to build together?

  • What adventures do you want to experience?

  • What does growing old together look like to you?

If this will be your first time living with your partner, you can add something as simple as “I cannot wait to start each morning with you”. 


Words, Phrases, or Inside Jokes Only You Share

Add something you share to make your vows even more personal, whether it’s words, phrases, or inside jokes. 

Here are the questions that you need to answer to get started:

  • What phrases do you say to each other that mean something special?

  • Do you have a shared tradition, hobby, or interest that defines your relationship? 

  • What inside jokes do you have?

It can even be about a debate you’ve never settled, like: “I know we like to go back and forth about who’s funnier, but the truth is that your humor has gotten me through some of the most challenging days.”


Long and Short-Term Promises

Weddings are about making promises, and here’s the perfect place to do that. A good tip is to mix “now” and “forever” aspects into your vows. 

Questions to help you with this section:

  • What promises can you make for the day-to-day?

  • What lifelong commitments are you willing to make to your partner?

Maybe you want to promise coffee every day and to continue being their confidant in this life, or you feel like always being patient and never giving up is more fitting. It’s up to you! 


The Last Sentence

The end doesn’t have to be this big finish - you can end it off with a simple “I love you”. It’s about what you want the last words to be before exchanging rings. 

Here are things to consider:

  • What is the one thing you want your partner to always remember?

  • How do you want to convey your love in one last sentence?


More Tips and Tricks

There is more to wedding vows than jotting ideas down, like how long the speech should be, the speed at which you speak, if it should be memorized, humor, pauses, etc.

  • Keep it Concise: Try to keep your speech under 3 minutes. This way, you have enough time to express yourself and still have the audience’s attention.

  • Pace Yourself: Talk slowly so everyone, including your partner, can hear what you are saying. 

  • Practice: Vows aren’t orals - you don’t need to have them memorized. Just practice a few times to make sure you are getting the words right. 

  • Stay Present: Look into your partner's eyes when you are speaking.

  • Avoid Cliche’s: Phases like “you complete me” sounds generic and impersonal. So, try to use your own words.

  • Consider the Setting: Think about where you’ll be standing. Is there background noise? Will you be holding a mic? Practice with these considerations in mind.

  • Use Pauses: While it can feel quite overwhelming talking in front of everyone and you just want to finish your speech, pauses can be great. It makes your vows more emotional and gives your audience time to absorb what you are saying.

  • Don’t Worry About Perfection: How perfect your speech is isn’t important - the sincerity and love behind your words are. 


Conclusion: What Writing Wedding Vows is All About

Writing wedding vows can feel like a tough nut to crack. But starting with memories, reflecting on personal growth, making it visual, adding something personal, making promises, and ending it with something meaningful can be an excellent template for your writing process.


Jan 24

4 min read

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1

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